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July 25
by eleon

Confessions Of A Pastor Who Lost His Edge

Last night I cuddled up next to my beautiful 8-year-old daughter and 6-year-old son. It’s the place I love to be. However, it’s also the place where I received an eye-opening revelation.

We decided to watch one of my favorite movies of all time Rocky III. There was a part in the movie where Rocky was trying to avenge his first loss to Clubber Lang. He wanted to be a champion again but had lost his motivation to even know where to start. Haven’t we all been there? We want so desperately to get the fire back into our lives that we once had but it feels like an endless pursuit with no results. Rocky lost his will to be a champion. Then Apollo Creed, his new trainer, takes Rocky back to the old gym where he used to train in what appears to be a warehouse on Skid Row in Los Angeles. It’s old, it stinks, and it’s perfect. Then Apollo said something to Rocky so powerful that nearly put me in tears in that rather lifeless moment. He said, “You got to go back to where it all began to find your edge.”

Honestly, ever since my blood clots four months ago, I feel like I’ve lost my edge. I mean I know how to force myself to “Suck it up” but something was missing. It’s funny how God can give you one line from a movie and bring it all back home. Simply put, I have pastored a church for four months with a loss of edge. No excuses!


It’s time to pray like that teenage kid who was scared to preach his first sermon when I first came to LA. It’s time to serve with the tenacity of my first month when I went door to door just hoping one person would come to church. It’s time to love my wife like the first time we dated. It’s time to go back to where it all began. You see, most of the time we lose our edge is because we refuse to go back to the places of passion that built us. Sure, we weren’t all professionals back then, but we needed God. Losing your edge is a numb place to be. It’s funny that Rocky’s solution to regain his edge was found in a sweaty old gym. Just maybe, the answer to getting your edge back is in the simplicity of revisiting the landmark places you once gained so much strength. The answer just might be going back to where it all began. I know, for me, it’s time to visit some of those old places where it was raw, right, and radical. It’s the place to find the edge.

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