I was watching the Grammys and Taylor Swift came out singing the song, “Mean.” Yes, it was about a mean boy in a relationship that started off mean and continued to be mean throughout his life. She kept repeating that catchy phrase, “Why you gotta be so mean?”
The world has become more cynical. In fact, horribly cynical. The sad thing is that this also happening within the church. Somehow, there is a niche or market for “Mean.” Mean and boldness are not the same thing. Boldness is fighting for truths that make people better. Mean, well, is just mean. Mean is nitpicking on preferences that are not convictions. Mean is trying to make a name for yourself by carving out an “anti-position” regarding things that have nothing to do with Biblical convictions. Even if you do have biblical convictions, the entire world doesn’t need to see us hurling spears at each other’s back. As Taylor Swift said, “Why you gotta be so mean?”
Here’s the problem with mean. Mean preaching is not “Standing out” in an era of so-called compromise, it’s conformity. The spirit of this age is a mean spirit bent on finding a weakness in humanity and exploiting it. When those in the church are mean, all we do is conform to the world’s ideology. In order to not conform we must be the opposite (Drum roll please) NICE.
My fear is that this young generation has spent so much time debating theology that we have become more divisive in spirit. All of us (including myself) must daily make an effort to spit out the venom of mean. We all might not be the greatest communicators of our day but we can all be nice. We can be non-conformists to mean. Yes, nice and bold can go hand in hand. In fact, they were made for each other.
WE DON’T NEED TO TEAR DOWN EACH OTHERS CAMP, WE NEED TO TEAR DOWN THE ENEMIES.
When we attack each other, all we do is create questions and confusion to the average Christian who doesn’t even understand what we are angry about. In fact, they don’t even care that we have an issue with someone who uses rap music, or teaches something different. The average person who comes to our church doesn’t need to hear our frustrations, they need to hear hope. My prayer is that when people see us as the church they say the words, “Why you gotta be so nice?” Then we explain the reason for our kindness. Which comes through Christ.
Great blog! Thanks for the reminder. My daughter asked me one day, “daddy can you be a Christian and be mean?” I will have to read this to her. She only 8 but she loves Taylor Swift so tha t will help :)
AT and TDC have given more HOPE to people than the president of hope ever thought about. No church is perfect but yours is winning the race of faith. I’m not sure where the debating of theology is occurring, but there should be a place for that as the Apostle Paul spent most of his Christian life doing it. People need to know what to believe and how to demonstrate it. It doesn’t need to be classified as “mean or mean-spirited.” It’s pretty much impossible to learn the doctrine Paul received by revelation from Jesus Christ in a 20 minute sermon once a week. There needs to be a forum for that; nothing does more to destroy the enemies camp than truth of the Word living in the heart and soul of a believer who knows who they are in Christ. God bless,
Thank you Fred. As always you bring up great points.
Fantastic blog, it must appear so ridiculous to the world when they see THE church attacking itself. As soon as the Bride of Christ stops self harming then the enemy is in for a whooping!
Faith, Hope and Love, the greatest of which is love.
I’ve been lagging reading your blogs but thanks for tweeting reminders of your posts! GREAAAAT blog! Funny thing is “religion” will mask a righteous meanness in believers but I LOVED the comparison between Boldness & Meanness! You have to be Nice in a Relationship you have to be Mean in a Religion! That just shows what most people have! We’ll be known by the Love we have!
awesome blog Matthew…received and moving towards a greater future of hope, faith, and life…the God Kind
Matt,
You are absolutely right! When the world sees the church divided and cruel towards the people within its congregations, lost people have every right to ask, “What’s the difference between Christians and me? If they act the same way I do, why should I be a Christian?” It is imperative that Christians see the world through the eyes of the Holy Spirit, working towards loving and caring for the lost, rather than tearing down a fellow brother.
And you are so right that theological debates have only exacerbated this division within the church! I’m all for studying the Bible and finding the true meaning behind God’s Word, but not to the extent that it causes the world to lose trust in the Word as God’s divine communication with all of mankind.
Love you, Matt!
In Eden God gave us two trees with 0ne bringing death and the other bringing life. Knowing good from evil causes us to think we are like God, able to judge. This brings divisions and factions, which the bible says are the works of the flesh. When I am more focused on how right I am and I think I need to let the world know how right I am I will always be mean to those that don’t agree and always be in the flesh whether you agree or not. I pray we start growing the fruit from the tree of life in our lives and in our churches
Pastor,
I continue to enjoy your blogs. Please keep them coming. I usually find myself reading your blog and being encouraged and corrected. But it’s NEVER mean. I particularly found this one interesting because Taylor’s song has ministered to me many times over. After having religious leaders be outstandingly mean to me… I had to realize that all they are ever gonna be is mean but I had a choice that if I want to succeed I had to not conform as you mentioned and be nice instead … Even to the religiously mean. Thanks for the reminder to be so nice, the nice people call me nice.
John 17:22-23 “I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”
It is critical that we love one another and become united, SO THAT the world will know that the Father sent Christ and that He loves them.
Right on Matthew. If we are mean to one another, how will the world ever know or believe that we have been changed by God’s love.
This is such a good reminder!! I just moved to Paris, and there is an incredibly negative spirit amongst the Parisians. I found myself conforming to this. It’s so true that we’re not a light for Jesus when we try to fit in to a culture, we’re a light for Jesus when we conform to His culture! This is so incredibly encouraging. Thank you!
I think that when christians are mean, they feel that the world knows how uncompromising they are in their religion. I have dished it out and taken it equally. I feel that I have been knocked down enough to realize that I am no better than anyone else and beyond being nice, I know that every person is valuable in my life whether they are serving God or not. My prayer is that God will shine through my weakness and when I speak those words of truth, my spirit is right, not mean. Thanks for another great post.
Matthew, I have a heart for God and women! I was a chaplin at Teen Challange for 3 yr. I preach at the soup kitchen for 3 yr as well. I am going to Thailand to minister to sex traffick survivors and victims! How can i wish them well share christ without some where to live so they can be safe and stop this maddness!I have it on my heart to do something here like you have there. I want to come visit and see how you guys do things! Thank you for listening to your heart and not men! Pray for me and I will you! Be Blessed!
Say What?
Taking up an position against church tendensies in church is a good thing. After beeing brought up in a church where nobodey questioned authority i realised the negative impact it had on my life. One of the major reason cults and sekts become big is they say questioning leaders and pastors with charisma but no godly heart is an attack from the devil and that you are doing the devils deeds and speaking and sending the arrows from the devil. Everything in my former church was all amen and halleluja but still i had something nagging me on the inside. In the end i did the good thing and left but it took me 10 years to do so. On the outside everything looked nice and shiny like a whitwashed tomb but on the inside the church was full of dead bones.
When I was in the 6th grade, I read a quote in my counselor’s office that said, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.” It changed my life. I never again thought about fame and being “well known” the same. People don’t remember how “famous” we are. They remember how kind we were before and after we achieve “being famous”. Being well known only means your character is more well known, Be nice regardless, and you’re doing well.