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November 9
by eleon

How To Deal With People Who Don’t Want To Change

It starts with helping someone carry his burdens; it ends up bringing you into a life of negativity. It’s always wonderful to try to help someone rebuild his life from despair. However, many times people want to talk about their problem and don’t want to fix it.

The problem becomes your problem; the burden ends up on you, the one that tries to help. Before long, we end up living the pain of the person who wants to complain about his problem but never actually seeks to resolve it.

Suddenly, it affects you. You carry someone else’s endless struggle into your own life and start projecting that person’s pain on everyone else. A transfer of spirit rests upon you. What started as a desire to help has become a place where you are becoming like the person you are trying to help.

Here’s the solution. Help everyone that truly wants help, needs help, and cries out for help. But if it gets to the place where you become a sounding board of someone else’s bitterness, then run. Run fast, run far. That spirit is being transferred to you. That’s why the Bible says, “Be excellent regarding what is good and innocent regarding what is evil.”

I used to try to help certain people and then I realized they didn’t want help. They wanted to use my sympathetic ear as a place to vent their frustrations with the world. When approaching them with a solution they didn’t want any part of it. It’s in these times you need to remove yourself from being the ear that cultivates an increase of bitterness. We do no one a favor by agreeing with his unhappiness and letting him go unchallenged.

Let those you mentor know and that you are going to provoke them to make hard decisions (Biblical ones) and not give them the open door to the victims way out.

Don’t let the heartache of someone who doesn’t want to move forward bring you backwards to a place you don’t want to be.

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